Finding the Gentle Middle

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Yesterday was a good day.

I didn’t have to drag anyone out of bed and there was no mad rush to make it to the bus stop on time. I powered through my to do list and actually felt like I’d accomplished something by the time school pick up rolled around. Dinner was made before we left for dance classes and everyone ate it when we got home (tacos, of course!) We spoke to each other nicely, managed conflict in appropriate ways, and worked things out together. I noticed the little things and had time to enjoy them.

Yesterday was a good day.

Today was not such a good day.

Today grumpy kids complained about having to get up, refused to eat breakfast, and there was yelling before we were even out of pyjamas. Today I felt like I did nothing but chase my tail and add things to my list instead of ticking them off. Today everyone hates every suggestion I make for dinner, and everyone has complained about chores, rolled their eyes, and done things they have regretted, including me.

Today was not such a good day.

I sit here, wishing this bad day away, and wondering how I can make tomorrow one of the good days, but knowing it will probably just be an ok day.

I sit here wishing I could do more, or have more. Wishing my life was more ‘balanced’. And suddenly I realise I’ve had it all wrong all this time.

For so long I have been striving for that magical ‘balance’. Striving to have everything work out, to keep all the balls in the air, and to keep on smiling while I juggle…
But that is not balance.

Balance is not perfection.
Balance is not ‘having it all’.
Balance is not ‘doing it all’

That is not balanced.

Those scales are tipped too steeply to the ‘everything is awesome’ side, not resting gently in the middle. And it is that gentle middle ground that I really want.

The gentle middle of living your actual life, not trying to be someone who you are not.

The gentle middle of accepting the stage you are in and working with it.

The gentle middle of ordering pizza tonight because you know you’ve juggled everyone’s likes and dislikes and made healthy home cooked meals every other night this month.

The gentle middle of forgiving yourself for losing it and shouting at the kids because you know you’ve been working so hard on not yelling and doing so much better.

The gentle middle of allowing your kids to have have a whiny moment at home because you know how hard they are working on managing all the new stuff going on at school.

The gentle middle of having enough clean clothes to wear, even if you have to hunt around in the pile of unfolded washing to find them.

The gentle middle of everything going to hell in a handbasket one day, and totally rocking the next, and all the days inbetween.

The gentle middle of giving yourself, and your family, grace because life doesn’t have to be perfect all the time to be great, and neither do you.

Balance means having enough, not having it all.
Balance means doing enough, not doing it all.
Balance means some good days, some bad days, and a whole lot of ok days.

Balance means finding that gentle middle ground and taking time to enjoy it.


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