Freaks, Onions, and Paradoxes: Life as an INTJ Female

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There are lots of ways to try and describe people. You can ask about Love Languages, you can try the Enneagram’s nine types, you could take some of the eleventy-billion quizzes on Buzzfeed (rough estimate), and everyone seems to know what we mean when we say someone is “Type A”.

As far as typing people goes (and I suppose it shouldn’t go as far as some folks take it), the Myers-Briggs metric seems better than most. There are 16 categories and none are better or worse than the others.

My type (INTJ) is one of the rarest for females:

Life as an INTJ Female

This explains why I’ve often felt like I’m living the whole “square peg in a round hole” life scenario. That whole “non F” (feeling) woman thing tends to freak people out. (You’ll notice the Top 5 on the chart are all F types)

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In other words, you’re not likely to stumble across a self-professed female INTJ in everyday life. EXCEPT on the internet. We abound here. (Which is awesome.)

As a refresher, here’s a reminder of what the letters mean:

E or I (Extrovert or Introvert) can be summed up by whether groups of people give you energy or deplete your energy. An Introvert isn’t someone who hates being around people. An Introvert is someone who needs quiet or alone time to recharge.

S or N (Sensing or iNtuition) is how you take in and analyze information. If you pay more attention to your five senses, you’re an S. If you pay more attention to patterns and possibilities, you’re probably an N.

T or F (Thinking or Feeling) is about how you make decisions. (Or which comes first: logic or people?)

J or P (Judging or Perceiving) is how you deal with the world. Do you prefer plans and concrete decisions or are you more open to options and adapting?

Here are some links and images I’ve stumbled on that capture us INTJ Females fairly well:

1. An Overview of the INTJ Personality Type by Kendra Cherry for Includes links to other types and also some famous people who may have been INTJ. (JANE AUSTEN! C.S. LEWIS! If that’s true, that explains a lot about why I admire them so much.)

2. Being INTJ and Female: How I Go Against Everything Women are Supposed to Be and Why I Don’t Care from Mindscaped.

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3. I’m an INTJ Woman and a Freak of Nature by Adria at Written Not With Ink. So much of this resonated with me. Here’s one of my favorite paragraphs (I could have written everything on this list except the tall thing):

In fact, being different has become part of my identity. I have always been the tall girl, the Christian girl, the homeschooled girl, the girl who didn’t drink, the girl with her nose in a book, etc., and if those weren’t enough I was the girl who didn’t really think or act like a girl. That’s a whole lot of different. On a good day I believe that God made me just this freakish because He has a special role for me here on earth. On a bad day I just feel frustrated, misunderstood, and insecure.

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4. INTJs are Like Onions by Adria at The INTJ Life. (The author of #3 also started a blog about life as an INTJ.)

Source: no longer active

5. How to Identify an INTJ (or Where are “They” – We –  Hiding?) from Anne Squared.

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INTJs can be intense. We think a lot. INTJs tend to live in our own brains. We want things to be right and we have high standards for everyone, especially ourselves.

Your well rounded INTJ friend will probably try to deal with that with humor (usually of the sarcastic, dry variety).

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1. The Complicated Nature of INTJs Explained to Normal People from All Said and Done.

2. The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the INTJ from The Venturous Life. (language warning)
I really did laugh out loud at the Q & A. Sample question:

Q: Why does my INTJ keep correcting my grammar?
A: Probably because you are being grammatically incorrect.

And yes, I think like this:

And this:

It’s even worse if we have to “tell something about ourselves”. I’ll tell someone about myself when I’m good and ready, thankyouverymuch!

But there are good things about being friends with an INTJ.

Things like secret keeping:

And persistence,

or problem solving.

And yes, maybe we should come with warning labels  like this one:

One of my favorite fellow INTJ females is Mystie, a fellow homeschool mom.

She’s shared some fabulous resources for all Myers-Briggs types in this post: What’s Your Homeschool Personality? She has other posts and podcasts about Myers-Briggs too, so make sure you set aside some time to really dig in.

Do you know your Myers-Briggs type? What do you most love or dislike about your type?
Images all found on Pinterest, original sources identified if known. Original graphics from Unsplash stock photos.

More resources from (fellow INTJ) Mystie:

Resources for readers:

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